overview: I’m 47 and became disabled a few years ago from arthritis in the lower back, that has restricted what I can do, and caused me to leave a job I loved.
I’m married to an Airforce vet, who was mp, and is the father of our children.
Our children are my step-children whom I’ve helped raise for 20 years.
Son 23, type 1 diabetic, struggles with temper
Daughter 21, married, struggles with ptsd and anxiety problems
Our home, standard single family home with a small galley kitchen that clutter up fast. Our children reside in our home rent & utility free.
The rest of the post was originally written in a diary app offline. I’m leaving mistakes as is to minimize data usage since I only have 500 mb of data.
Even as I share this I will own that I made mistakes in the mornings altercations .
Today I had to call the cops.
The day started with walking into a Kitchen full of dirty dishes every where From the cooking our grown daughter had done the day before • To be able to use the stove and Counter So that I could fix food and coffee for myself and my husband who has work (or should that be had) I had to clear the sink, counter, and stove of their mess, I also had to clear my husbands spot at the table of baby stuff.
I got the coffee started and was waiting until my husband was in the shower to cook his eggs. This is our regular routine•
Our daughter (age 21, mother of 2 babies) came out in her nightie and headphones on• She began to wash their dirty dishes,but instead of filling a pot or dishpan she left the water running at high pressure. That is/was a problem For two reasons: 1st my husband needed some hot water for his shower, 2nd our state, California, is still facing drought Conditions. I repeatedly asked her to not run the water. She ignored me. fi Nally out of Frustation I turned the Faucet off while repeating that they didn’t need to be on while she was scrubbing the dishes. She just turned them back on. I went and asked my husband (a) to deal with the situation and (b) if there was away to turn off the water. Yes by that point I was feeling Very frustrated (when I’m frustrated my voice gets loud), as our daughter had been running the water for over 30 minutes on high pressure as an act of passive agression.
still feeling frustrated I turned to getting my husbands breakfast and coffee for work ready. There were traces of spices on the pan(cast iron), for myself they wouldn’t have been an issue, but for my husband they could be. Knowing I needed to rinse the pan I stated three times ” I need the sink so I can fix dad’s breakfast”. No response from daughter. I tried to get into the second side of the sink but there wasn’t enough room. So I stepped back and repeated very loudly that I needed the sink. AT which point, our son in law (age 25) came out and started yelling that I didn’t need the sink. IT wasn’t until I told him that I needed to rinse the pan that daughter even spoke, at which point I replied that there wasn’t enough room. Then and only then did she move so that I could use the sink. I quickly rinsed my pan and moved back to the stove. She then returned to the sink and started running the water again. I mentioned that dad, my husband, needed the water for the shower at which point she started yelling about the dishes being stacked on the side of the table that they use. I commented that the dishes were their dirty dishes. She was yelling something else when our Son (age 23) came out and kicked in the gate to the Kitchen. He started yelling in my face about his health problems calling me useless, I responded that he Should see a doctor, he then put his hands on my neck and squeezed saying he should snap my neck. Daughter then stepped between us getting him to let go. Son said again he was going to snap my neck, I responded that he would end up behind bars. He then said he was going to take back the cornpone nts he had used to Fix my pc the previous year. He shoved stuff around knocking my cup of coffee and some other stuff to the Floor as he pulled my pc tower From the desk.
I grabbed my phone while he was doing so, he said go ahead and call as I was using a hacked (his doing) pc and his intellectual property. After he pulled the parts he snapped them before going out to the garage and bringing in the old non functioning parts.
I again returned to my husband asking him to come deal with the situation and informed him that we were now without internet to which he replied that he needed to get ready For work and that we would cancel our net subscription.
Upon returning to the kitchen area where the food for my husband was still cooking, I put 2 slices of bread into the toaster before disconnecting the modem (my pc had been the network hub for our internet). Son then took down the cord that ran to his room. He came back out a few seconds later with some dishes that he had used and threw them at the ground causing the bowls to break while saying “here are your precious dishes” as he left the Kitchen he stated “youre on borrowed time” (I *think* he also said he would kill me). During all this daughter was still at the Kitchen sink.
Unsure of what if anything son would do next I called pd non emergency and requested an officer to Come out and talk to OUR Son , and to see if they Could get him to go somewhere else like a friends for a few hours. Daughter heard me on the phone and started banging on doors and yelling at her dad, my husband, she also got dressed talked to her brother, our son, and gave him the Keys to her motorcycle. She then started yelling at me how I was going to ruin his life and I was a bitch and crazy and should be locked up and how I was a bully and had bullied her while she was doing dishes. I said Fine if I’m a bitch then I’m not watching her kids For her today and if I’m such a bitch she they could move out.
About which time hubby walked through to leave For work.
Daughter was going on about how the house was her dad’s and how I was useless. She then started pulling everything , including the clean dishes she had just washed off of counters on both sides of the kitchen. She then puffed her shoulders and started towards me, but her husband grabbed her from behind and pulled her to the hallway .
I stepped out to ask husband to stay home hesaid he had to go to work as some one had to pay For everything. He opened the garage door to find that pd had arrived. He suggested that I step out to talk to them, I said I couldn’t because daughter was in the background saying she was going to lock me out.
We all briefly talked to pd. Pd stated that there wasn’t anything they could do and then they left.
I took my phone and tablet to my room, and have spent the bulk of the day there•
Son in law took it on himself to clean up the mess in the kitchen after daughter said leave it let her clean it up.
I’m not sure what changes if any the future will bring.